it's not about you

I couldn’t have planned this. My plans never really work the way I want them to. But somehow I ended up here without realizing.

I was waiting for you literally and maybe metaphorically. Before I knew who you were, I wished for a polite but charming man to walk up to me in a coffee shop and sit down next to me. I figured I’d just know. You know how people say that but it all sounds like bullshit? “When you know you know.” No one really ever knows. I think that’s what makes it more interesting.

Spontaneity isn’t as important to me as intention. Saying you’ll do something and following through. Being interested in my boring non-fiction book with the manic annotations and sticky tabs that seem unnecessary. Caring about things that matter to me. It says more about you than it does me. That’s why it’s safer. It’s not about me; that’s part of who you are.